Journals138
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the state of things
1 min read
I haven't been active on here in a long time. I don't know if that'll ever change. I don't know if I have anything left to offer.
My depression/apathy/laziness/general suck has me in a place where I'm terrified of everything. I can't social. I barely function. It's nothing personal if I don't respond to comments. Llamas are the best I can offer. Watch, comment, et cetera at your own risk. You may be/probably are wasting your time.
Good travels, good health, good life.
Sherwood
My depression/apathy/laziness/general suck has me in a place where I'm terrified of everything. I can't social. I barely function. It's nothing personal if I don't respond to comments. Llamas are the best I can offer. Watch, comment, et cetera at your own risk. You may be/probably are wasting your time.
Good travels, good health, good life.
Sherwood
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DeviantArtist Questionnaire
3 min read
1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?
Over 11 years.
2. What does your username mean?
“Faraleigh” is the online persona of a character in a story I was writing back in high school. She was a projection of myself at that time in my life, an individual trapped in an unhealthy relationship whose only escape was through online gaming. I’ve changed a lot since then and really, really want to change my username. I am no longer that person.
3. Describe yourself in three words.
Asocial, depressed, boring.
4. Are you left or right handed?
Right, though I have unusually decent control of my left hand and off-and-on try to cultivate that.
5. What was your first deviation?
A bad scan of a bad pencil drawing probably. That’s about the most specific I can get unfortunately.
6. What is your favourite type of art to create?
Literature, though depression has stolen passion from me. I haven’t written anything in ages.
7. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?
Digital drawing, though that takes so long I’m not sure I’d want to do it.
8. What was your first favourite?
Something I surely removed ages ago. No idea what.
9. What type of art do you tend to favourite the most?
Digital art.
10. Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist?
I have no idea. I don’t really have favorites.
11. If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?
I wouldn’t. It’d be a waste of both our time. I’d pass on the privilege to someone else who could actually make use of the experience.
12. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?
If someone has impacted my life, I don’t remember.
13. What are your preferred tools to create art?
MS Word, keyboard, mouse, etymonline.com, thesaurus.com, Wikipedia, Google
14. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?
What is inspiration?
15. What is your favourite DeviantArt memory?
My first Daily Deviation, I guess, if I must pick. It made me feel like my writing had some worth.
#DeviantArtistQuestionnaire
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Endings and beginnings
2 min read
I have decided to set aside my book so that I can work with my muse on cooperative writing ventures. While there's a distinct possibility I won't ever get back to it, I accept this. I suppose this is what a relationship breakup feels like... Songs and ideas are no longer comfortable due to their association, a general feeling of being lost and empty consumes me, and I desperately want to find something new to fill this void in my heart.
I have also proposed to my dad that we do a photo scavenger hunt, seeing as both of us are rather handy with cameras but don't use them much (or at all in my case). After explaining it to him, he's accepted! Our first 5 subjects:
Finally, I got an email about a job in Wisconsin. Once I put together a cover letter, I'm applying. Relocation is reimbursed even!
I have also proposed to my dad that we do a photo scavenger hunt, seeing as both of us are rather handy with cameras but don't use them much (or at all in my case). After explaining it to him, he's accepted! Our first 5 subjects:
- A tall building
- A sunrise or sunset over water
- Something that flies
- A reflection
- Something red
Finally, I got an email about a job in Wisconsin. Once I put together a cover letter, I'm applying. Relocation is reimbursed even!
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29
2 min read
As I stand on the precipice of my third decade, I feel the crushing weight of wasted time behind me and consider the road ahead.
I've been thinking this past week that I'll never really pay off my student debt. I'm already on a plan where I pay the least amount possible for twenty-five years and then the remainder is forgiven. Why not go for my Master's? What's a little more debt that I'll never pay off?
I voiced my thoughts to my muse this morning while steeping tea and he said I should put my book on hold and work with him. There are some lucrative ideas that our common effort would make great. I worry, though, that if I set aside my book I won't ever go back to it. But is that such a bad thing? Yes, I'm obsessed over it (when I'm not so depressed I couldn't care about anything) and love the ideas I've created, but I'm not the same person and not the same writer I was when I began this endeavor. I'm also not cut out for a lot of the things I wanted to include, and I'm too prideful/selfish/whatever to consistently ask my muse for help. Maybe it would be best to put it to rest.
Maybe I'm just tired, but I find it hard to not fall into that too-comfortable pit of despair as I consider my position and remember all the mistakes littering life behind me.
I'm not a birthday person, but I suppose it's a good thing to take stock of yourself once in a while.
Hmm. I wonder where that jumping spider on my desk went...
I've been thinking this past week that I'll never really pay off my student debt. I'm already on a plan where I pay the least amount possible for twenty-five years and then the remainder is forgiven. Why not go for my Master's? What's a little more debt that I'll never pay off?
I voiced my thoughts to my muse this morning while steeping tea and he said I should put my book on hold and work with him. There are some lucrative ideas that our common effort would make great. I worry, though, that if I set aside my book I won't ever go back to it. But is that such a bad thing? Yes, I'm obsessed over it (when I'm not so depressed I couldn't care about anything) and love the ideas I've created, but I'm not the same person and not the same writer I was when I began this endeavor. I'm also not cut out for a lot of the things I wanted to include, and I'm too prideful/selfish/whatever to consistently ask my muse for help. Maybe it would be best to put it to rest.
Maybe I'm just tired, but I find it hard to not fall into that too-comfortable pit of despair as I consider my position and remember all the mistakes littering life behind me.
I'm not a birthday person, but I suppose it's a good thing to take stock of yourself once in a while.
Hmm. I wonder where that jumping spider on my desk went...
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My deviantART Story
8 min read
Fourteen years of deviantART. It's hard to imagine. It's a little surreal, too, that I've been here for most of that. Well, my account has at least. I've been less than active during that decade, and those times where I was here, I was less than involved in anything.
I was a broken mess, psychologically speaking, when I came here, and my early interactions were colored by this. I just wanted attention and for people to praise my work as though it were better than sliced bread. Or pizza. I thought I knew everything and could offer advice to one and all. I'm not sure any of those people I back-and-forthed with back then are even still around. I hope they're doing well at whatever they're doing at least. But I digress. Back in those days, in high school, I took a digital photography class and found I had talent with a camera. I possess it still, but I haven't taken a photograph since that class. It lies dormant, waiting perhaps for the day I pursue it once more...
I was a broken mess, psychologically speaking, when I came here, and my early interactions were colored by this. I just wanted attention and for people to praise my work as though it were better than sliced bread. Or pizza. I thought I knew everything and could offer advice to one and all. I'm not sure any of those people I back-and-forthed with back then are even still around. I hope they're doing well at whatever they're doing at least. But I digress. Back in those days, in high school, I took a digital photography class and found I had talent with a camera. I possess it still, but I haven't taken a photograph since that class. It lies dormant, waiting perhaps for the day I pursue it once more...
I also developed a fondness for Photoshop and photomanipulation. I turned those out as quick as I could as my only real artistic outlet. Drawing took too long and I wanted something closer to instant satisfaction. And I continued to be plagued by wanting praise rather than assistance in my artistic adventures. That desire didn't change until years down the line...
I went dormant for quite a while at some point after high school, and I've never fully recovered. I've developed the want for growth through constructive criticism, but I still (and who doesn't?) crave that elusive praise. It's not so much my goal here anymore, though, and my venture into making writing guides showed me that I had something to contribute to this community. While they've been few and far between, it's clear that there's a healthy appetite for such things.
Through all of this, I have continued at the pace of a glacier pursuing my love of literature, both fiction and non-fiction. I have shared my dreams and my scars, hoping to inspire and encourage others who happen across my work.
I went dormant for quite a while at some point after high school, and I've never fully recovered. I've developed the want for growth through constructive criticism, but I still (and who doesn't?) crave that elusive praise. It's not so much my goal here anymore, though, and my venture into making writing guides showed me that I had something to contribute to this community. While they've been few and far between, it's clear that there's a healthy appetite for such things.
The Necessity of Flaws in CharacterizationOkay. Close your eyes (well, maybe just one) and imagine your favorite fictional character. Are they strong? Compassionate and giving? Witty and clever? Wise and intelligent? No matter the make-up of their awesomeness, they probably bring a smile to your face and that warm, fuzzy feeling to your insides. You probably remember vividly their adventures and hijinks, their clever retorts, or how amazing they were at figuring out some wild and crazy puzzle. They probably inspired your own writing. You probably wanted to recreate that smile and fuzzy feeling with your own readers, so you made your version of the character (or took some of their traits) and integrated them into your prose.
This is all fine and dandy, especially considering there's nothing new under the sun, but there's a good chance you missed out on something really important. Let me explain.
It's great to have a badass character who kicks ass and takes name. But what makes them so badass? Is it that they can lift a Hummer w
Reading as a WriterHave you ever set down a book for good because you found something in it you don’t like? If you want to write, I suggest that bad habit end now.
Why, you ask? Because everything you read—and I mean everything–has positive value for you as a writer. Stephen King, and any author worth his or her salt, is a huge advocate of writers reading massive amounts.
Again you ask, why? How can everything be useful? There are a number of reasons and I’ll cover as many as I can.
Reading bad literature teaches you about yourself and shows you what to avoid—or at least how not to do something—in your own work. If you run across something that you don’t like, stop and ask yourself why you don’t like it. Is it just a personal preference? Was it out of place or poorly executed? Does it contradict something from earlier? As soon as you figure out the “why” of something’s badness, you learn a little about yourself and you
Through all of this, I have continued at the pace of a glacier pursuing my love of literature, both fiction and non-fiction. I have shared my dreams and my scars, hoping to inspire and encourage others who happen across my work.
Dear JimDear Jim,
It is the eve of moving day, and as I cleared my shelves of your books I couldn’t help but be swept away by nostalgia.
It was 2002 that I first met you. I was scouring the shelves of an outlet bookstore for anything that might tickle my fancy when I happened upon Fool Moon. While the bloody paw print and broken window of that original cover enticed me, I confess the back cover was less than inspiring. Still, I bought it along with others I now no longer remember using my meager high school funds. As my mom drove us home, more than an hour away, I devoured that book. Even upon our arrival I didn’t set it down, making straight for the couch. I was more than a hundred pages in by the time I had to stop, and I finished the next day.
It was the beginning of a riotous love affair that changed my life.
I lauded the wonders of The Dresden Files and proudly called them my favorite books. I eagerly awaited every new installment, pilgrimaging to Ellensburg to g
HotbottleThere are few things so destructive as a wildfire, raging out of control across the land. Property, homes, and even lives can be ruined by such a basic force of the natural world. Only in the best of circumstances can loss be mitigated and no sage can predict the full effects of its wrath.
One such surpassingly ruinous thing is rumors. Whereas with nature you understand what you're facing, the ever-twisting word of man is but one part truth and a world of misinformation. Perhaps it is the inclusion of man in the equation that makes it so much more dangerous and unpredictable.
In a place where gossip pays more than gold, that danger is exponential.
Whispers followed in the wake of a stranger's arrival to Center Town, words none dared speak too loudly for fear of being heard by the evil of which they speculated.
"He'll be the death of us all," a farmer muttered under his breath in the field.
"Will my children be okay?" whispered the baker's wife.
"Why now?" grumbled the tailor over a nea
And this, I think, concludes my jaunt through nostalgia. Happy birthday, dA! Here's to many more.
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